Tweetaholic Pillows

'What am I thinking? Don't you read my Tweets?'

"Blood pressure, respiration erratic, but his tweeting is reassuringly stable."

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Text Culture

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

Shouting

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

"How about putting that in a tweet?"

The twittering president.

Tweet

'I got the ain't nobody reading my tweets blues.'