Tweet Tweeters Pillows

'We wanna open a budgie account...'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Bird Tweet.

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

The Proust of Twitter

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

tRUMp, Pirate President

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

Ornithologist

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Did you get that text I sent asking you to turn around?"

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

Twitter Prison

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"#skydiving"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'