Tweet Tweaker Pillows

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

The Proust of Twitter

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Bird Tweet.

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Ornithologist

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

'I don't care if he is the most interesting man in the world, his tweets about what he had for breakfast are still boring.'

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

Twitter Prison

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

My Fair Lady Twitter

"My big fat ego has just discovered Twitter!"

The twittering president.

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.