Tweet Tailor Pillows

You've edited my books and speeches. I need you now to edit my Twitters.

Bird Tweet.

The Proust of Twitter

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

The 3 Musketeers come undone.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

Ornithologist

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

"Today, charges that Putin hacked Trump's tweets..."

Twitter Prison

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

'Wow, these messages are even shorter than twitter tweets.'

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

"It was his tweets I fell in love with first!"

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

Tweet

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

"Hurry - get the family. I think he's about to communicate his final angry retweet."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

Book Shop: The great American Novel and The great American tweet.

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'