Tweet Reader Pillows

'Please, mom, can't you read me one more bedtime tweet?'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

The Proust of Twitter

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Trump goes down tweeting & firing more staff

Ornithologist

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

Archive for Presidential Tweets

"When I Say Tweet, You Say Tweet!"

"Eh, who cares if climate change is killing birds? I'll just make more."

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

The twittering president.