Tv Shopping Gifts

'You need to take more exercise, so I'm taking you off all the home shopping channels.'

Dracula Shills For A TV Shopping Channel

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"They grow up so fast."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Bowled over again!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."