Tv Shopper Gifts

Products offered on TV but not sold in stores.

'You have the honor of being the first person to go bankrupt from buying too many of those $19.95 offers on TV.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'She's so put together!'

Tree house.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

TV-Man

'Rozlyn, that blouse is very cute! I think you should get it.'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'Och lye the news'

A Clown pretends to put his head in the mouth of a TV lion.

"Everything's gone up."

Solar Panel

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Come die with me.'

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

Remote control wars.