Tv Shopping Aficionado Gifts

'Forgive you?...sure I'll forgive you...the moment I see something I really want on the shopping channel.'

"Order now, and get the gold AND the frankincense! Now how much would you pay!?! But WAIT..."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Television Readers.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

TV-Man

"I find that hugely offensive!"

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

TV jester.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''