Tv Enthusiast Gifts

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

"Have you given any thought to what you're going to do with your life after the Super Bowl?"

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

'I can't read but I have excellent tv viewing skills.'

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"Honey, … I'm still home..."

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

Watching TV through window - "You should have measured the doorway first."

"You need to work on the three R's. And they aren't reload, replay and rewind."

"It's his contribution to the environment"

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Honest Weather Forecasting

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, now he's watching coverage of other people watching gold.'

'How come the History Channel is so interesting and my history class is so boring?'

'Why is it all repeats?'

'Oh, what the heck -- why not a dissertation on 'Baywatch'?'

'That's it,Terry! Perfect.Just hold your head like that.'

"When the report said that coaches should have some psychological training I think they meant more than having watched all 11 series of Frasier."

'...In other news, the House Ethics Committee today changed its name to the House 'Everybody Does It' Committee.'

"Once this commercial is over, I'll have a number of questions on erectile dysfunction."

'I'm disappointed. I thought this was a show about Contract Law.'

'Mummy... one of my friends says you can watch films and cartoons and stories on T.V as well.'

'Where does this go?'

'Look at that crazy cowboy, Butch, he's talking to his horse!'

'What is the the best way to censor TV?'

'Viewers are warned that the film you are about to see contains no nudity or strong language.'

"Serves you right for hiring a lawyer who advertises on TV"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"You need to work on the three R's...and they aren't reload, replay and rewind."

'Let me put it this way...don't start watching any miniseries on TV.'

"Bad news, good news, sweetheart - the court rejected your appeal, but the networks are fighting to option it."

Michaelangelo's Characters Pass the Remote.

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'