Tv Disbeliever Gifts

'Jerome hasn't trusted anyone since Dan Rather.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Govt. UK led by Seance

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

Watching telly

TV and man

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

Bad Influence of TV

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

Say What! Mark Meadows

The Sports Fanatic

Wright Wing Conspiracy.

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

'Well at least we got him off the sofa.'

Remote control that is remote - in the wilderness

Rational explanations

'Everything these days is influenced by television.'

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

"Which variant of the hoax do you think we contracted?"

Worshiping the TV.

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'

"It's the five-second rule, Tia Carmen! If you eat it before five seconds, it's OK!"

'Why should I go out in the real world when I have so much reality TV?'

"Ouch!"

'I know you lost six nil, but why did you clout that little boy?' - 'He's our lucky mascot.'

Go To Sleep Britain...

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

"One, one deduction! Two, two deductions! Three, three deductions! Four deductions ah ah ah!!!!!!"