Tech Disbelievers Gifts

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary - Digitally Mixed - Any drink stirred without the use of a spoon, swizzle stick or any other tool/utensil.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Rare Books

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

Domestic Spying Drones

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

Diner is served

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!