Television Skeptic Gifts

'Thank you for welcoming us into your...'

"TV is a waste of time. I can be just as bored without it."

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

There's not much on except for the rubbish you're watching now.

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

Bad Influence of TV

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Why do you hate the media?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Classic News.

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

Look! This says that space aliens have landed and have taken over control of the earth. Boy that's a load off my mind!

'I can't believe that will get as good mileage as the foot.'

A horse driving a Model T tows an Amish buggy.

"Now remember...no lies about the government...only lies from the government."

The following story is based on actual events.