Satellite Tv Skeptic Gifts

'Hello, and welcome to Acme Cable. If you're calling about a billing issue, big whoop. Get over it and pay the bill. If your cable is out, who cares. When it's fixed, you'll know it. If you're...'

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

Bicycle sat nav.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

"I don't like space."

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

'I'm all for this interactivity.'

Bad Influence of TV

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

'This really is the road less traveled. I can't find it on my Google Map.'

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

Living in a snow globe.

'Like the judges, he's turned his chair around to concentrate on the singing.'

"Err..Hello?..Wilsons Car Sales? I'm having a little teething trouble with the satellite navigation system"

Viewer Discretion - Stupid Program.

First Cynic in Space

conclusive proof that the Moon landings WERE faked...

Go To Sleep Britain...

Fake Out! You are 300 miles from Dulles Airport! Hahah!

"The GPS is extorting money off me. It won't give me directions until I put money in its account."

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

Dog listening to a satellite dish.

Lorry driver goes through woman's living room: 'Sorry for the intrusion, love ... blame the sat nav.'

"A completely new concept in Television, a Vorderman free channel!!"

'BBC Phone Poll'

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

"I turned him into a Labrador Receiver."

Common Sense

'I've got nothing against those shows. . . I just wish I had an IQ low enough to enjoy them.'