Tv Commercial Fans Pillows

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

TV Situations vacant.

Moses' TV guide.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Aren't all gifts free?

Where Are They Now?

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

Liz Hurley

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"But wait, there's more."

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

Ok, maybe we should put him back in sales.

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'Happy 50th PBS.'

"This Fall on NBC: Fish Out of Water"

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

"Want to look better in your swimsuit? Visit Sally's Fitness Spa..."

"If elected, I'll institute an AMAZING CRASH PROGRAM that in JUST 24 HOURS will trim ugly fat and waste from government and literally turn it into SUPER SERVICES for you the AMERICAN PEOPLE by utilizing a NATURAL MECHANISM so powerful that when unleashed