Tv Commercial Fans Gifts

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

TV Situations vacant.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Moses' TV guide.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

'We have lost the video and voice audio, but will continue with the laugh track.'

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"Well, now we know what Letterman's doing, what are we doing?"

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

I lost as a contestant on the quiz show, but they gave me this lovely parting gift...

Where Are They Now?

Aren't all gifts free?

"But wait, there's more."

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'If you smiled in the mornings, you'd come up in the ratings, too.'

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

"Has this ever happened to you? Well, with our Medical Emergency Distress System..."

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'Too much TV, maybe. Is there a John Wane marathon going on?'

"We've had to rename it, no one watches talk shows anymore."

"If elected, I'll institute an AMAZING CRASH PROGRAM that in JUST 24 HOURS will trim ugly fat and waste from government and literally turn it into SUPER SERVICES for you the AMERICAN PEOPLE by utilizing a NATURAL MECHANISM so powerful that when unleashed

Televised Insomnia Benefit Telethon puts couple to sleep.

"Want to look better in your swimsuit? Visit Sally's Fitness Spa..."

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

Plato's Dialogues & Letterman's Monologues.

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

"This Fall on NBC: Fish Out of Water"