Advertising Fan Gifts

"Look! He just told those ladies not to squeeze the toilet paper and yet he's doing the same thing!"

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

The only razor endorsed by CACTUS MAN!

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

"Want to look better in your swimsuit? Visit Sally's Fitness Spa..."

'This perfect hold-up is brought to you by ACME ultra sharp high professional knifes!'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

Aren't all gifts free?

"But wait, there's more."

"What a coincidence, I'm an influencer too!"

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

"You must be the only person in the country who doesn't want to know what those meerkats are advertising."

"Bad news. The competition brought in 13 coupons and seventy thousand reasonable facsimiles."

'Now I'm getting those 'Psychic Pal' commercials when I dream!'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

"Sh*t!... I only died to get away from advertising..."

'Isn't that the famous dog you see in all these TV-commercials?'

Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."

'Where's our 'courteous, low-key sales professional'?'

"What is it? It's an autographed piece of toilet paper from one of the bears in the TV commercials!"

"Would you care to try a free sample?"

"You know what I love about infomercials? No commercials!"

Death watches late night teeth infomercial.

'Fill your trolley with our big sale, they said in the ad.'

"Hi! I'm Bob the chartreuse investment armadillo."

'...so she switched deodorants and lived happily ever after.'