Advertising Fan Gifts

"Look! He just told those ladies not to squeeze the toilet paper and yet he's doing the same thing!"

"The idea is to start a little satellite program of our own...."

The only razor endorsed by CACTUS MAN!

'Eric the white horse' was fed up being associated with whiskey...so he decided to try beer instead!

"Want to look better in your swimsuit? Visit Sally's Fitness Spa..."

'This perfect hold-up is brought to you by ACME ultra sharp high professional knifes!'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

Aren't all gifts free?

"But wait, there's more."

You need a bigger car/You need a smaller car.

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

"Did you hear that Henderson ascended to Heaven amid the entire angelic assembly? You can't buy publicity like that."

"Here we go, blockbuster season..."

Ok, maybe we should put him back in sales.

"What a coincidence, I'm an influencer too!"

"You must be the only person in the country who doesn't want to know what those meerkats are advertising."

"You didn't have to do that, Simon. It tells you on the box if there's a free gift inside!"

'Now I'm getting those 'Psychic Pal' commercials when I dream!'

'I'm really getting tired of all these Christmas commercials.'

Bad news for Tony the Tiger. I've got something to tell you and I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

"Bad news. The competition brought in 13 coupons and seventy thousand reasonable facsimiles."

'Isn't that the famous dog you see in all these TV-commercials?'

Frankenstein's monster writing a lonely hearts ad.

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"Sh*t!... I only died to get away from advertising..."

"I'll give you a hint - it's sold only on TV."

'You know the king on that burger commercial? I find him very disturbing.'

And if you say yes in the next 30 seconds, I'll throw in a second ring, these handsome cases, and a set of chef's knives. The Infomercial Proposal.

'Where's our 'courteous, low-key sales professional'?'

"You know what I love about infomercials? No commercials!"

"Would you care to try a free sample?"

"What is it? It's an autographed piece of toilet paper from one of the bears in the TV commercials!"