Tv Chef Fan Pillows

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'By Royal appointment, or with celebrity endorsement?'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Will work for Food Network.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

Here's one I made earlier.

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Chefs

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Master Chef

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

The Picture of Mary Berry

"I should have never let you watch those cooking shows on TV!"