Tv Chef Fan T-Shirts

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

'By Royal appointment, or with celebrity endorsement?'

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Will work for Food Network.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

Cooking without Jamie Oliver

Emeril John Lagassé III caricature

It's a Gordon Ramsay recipe, so if you don't ****** like it you can ******* off.

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

'There's a Mr. Oliver to see you. Says he can save the world.'

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

Schoolgirl in canteen: 'The food's great but I wish they'd stop calling it 'pukka tukka'.'

Here's one I made earlier.

'Just call me Delia...'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

Master Chef

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

Chefs

Nigella Lawson

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

Michael Symon

"The George Foreman! I've got just the thing."

The Picture of Mary Berry

Gordon Ramsay