Tv Chef Shows Pillows

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Will work for Food Network.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Here's one I made earlier.

'And stir to a smooth consistency.'

Anton Mosimann

'Ready, steady, Operate'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

Master Chef

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

"The recipe says, that the whipped cream has to be piped onto the sponge."

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

'Gentlemen, put your money away. When it comes to killing TV chefs, I work for free.'

The Picture of Mary Berry

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."