Television Chef Pillows

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

"...and our show 'Cooking with fresh ingredients' has been moved to next week."

Gordon Ramsay

'Have you been using that Hairy Bikers cookbook again'

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

Counting ribs

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

What the Doctor Ordered