Tv Break Enthusiast Gifts

'Have you noticed? She always calls a recess at the exact time 'Oprah' comes on tv.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'Einsteiners.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Big screen TV.

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

'I'll sure be glad when somebody invents cable!'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

Must-See Lockdown TV.

A couple decides what to watch.

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

God with Earth Controller