Tv Timeout Enthusiast Gifts

'Please stand by. You have temporarily lost your picture. Broadcasting will resume when you have finished your homework.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Big screen TV.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

'It's O.K. Charlie - you can relax. The T.V. repairman said, 'it can be fixed!''

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"It's not just the same old crap—it's wider."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

"I've had enough of watching grass grow. What's on the Paint Drying Channel?"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

'No, I've never been in a TV reality show. My reality is pretty well scripted by my wife, kids and boss.'

"I can't believe I'm paying $5,000 a month for you to stream Intro to Psychology when I get all of TV for $15.99."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

Shakespeare watching the 'Forsooth Saga'.

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

TV: widescreen 16x9 versus 4x3.