Tv Ad Aficionado Pillows

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Television Readers.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Important Food Groups

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

100 best beheadings

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"He's an indoor cat."

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

Honesty in retail

Couch and Potato

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."