Ads Aficionado Pillows

Teleshopping

'Customers are calling 911 about our product. They need the Jaws Of Life to get into the packaging.'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Eat Beef

Honesty in retail

Roads with a view.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

News for Sale

Gerald Ratner's return

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

They get into debt so fast these days...

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."