Tv Ad Connoisseur Pillows

Yeah, your rates are very good, but your ads on TV just aren't funny enough

"... starts Friday at a theatre near you."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Create some buzz!

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Eat Beef

Honesty in retail

Gerald Ratner's return

Roads with a view.

News for Sale

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"Here's the marketing department's solution."

'We're losing the mid-morning market. Let's put a hamburger in a glazed donut and call it brunch.'