Ad Connoisseur Pillows

'We feel that advertising that insults the customers intelligence, distracts them from the high cost of the product.'

"You don't think it's too extreme, do you?"

'Yes, everything on the menu does start off at $300. How else are we supposed to pay celebrities to be in our commercials?'

'Back to the weather following this word from Big Al's Snow Removal.'

'I can't remember the name of the stuff but the girl in the TV ad had these ENORMOUS knockers...'

'No ice.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Join me in a Martini?

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

'Fried chickens.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Malcolm Sargent

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

Inaction Figure

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Pisa Hut.

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'The first cocktail.'

Litteratti K9s.