Hay Connoisseur Pillows

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Charles Dickens.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

Sergei Rachmaninov

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"We were unable to release his grip on the smart phone."

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

"What kind of moviemaking do we want to reinforce?"

'Hello front desk? There are a couple of little cooties on my pillow!'

"You should feel honoured. I don't sue anyone."

American Evolution

Man deciding which hat to wear

Excess Baggage: For many of us, 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.