Claims Connoisseur Pillows

"Typical! I'm just making a claim on our insurance and they say it ran out just half an hour ago!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Felix Mendelssohn

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"My kid could do that."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

S**t Threw a Goose

Sculptor's chippings

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Bleak House

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Anton Bruckner.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark