Turtle's Night Out Gifts

The Stripper

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Turtle Trailer Court

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Tortoise polishing his shell

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Thursday is the new Friday

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

"My doctor told me to get more exercise by walking a pet, but he didn't specify it had to be a dog."

Turtle Home

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

Funky Facts: Turtles.

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'