Turtle Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles

Maybe a "limbo party" wasn't our best idea.

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Turtle Trailer Court

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"We haven't danced in ages."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

The Stripper

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

Tortoises breakdancing

Tortoise polishing his shell

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'I'm going to be a little late.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

"My doctor told me to get more exercise by walking a pet, but he didn't specify it had to be a dog."

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