Turtle Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Cat laughs at 'Ameowsing Cat Jokes.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"We haven't danced in ages."

The Stripper

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

Tortoise polishing his shell

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Tortoises breakdancing

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Look Mummy: I've put on my shell all by myself...'

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

"Hey, no kidding! I prefer slow dancing, too!"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."