Turtle Enthusiasts Gifts

Speed Checked By Radar.

I need a roofing job. I've got a leak.

"Is this your way of telling me you need a little 'me time'?"

"You come out of there, Harry. We're not done talking."

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

"What do you mean, you got evicted?"

"I hear furlough's being extended."

Because if I keep my alarms inside, I'll just keep hitting snooze.

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

The nice thing about being a turtle is I always get to work at home.

"Let's raise the bar. Let's try speed-walking!"

Turtle recluse

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

Turtle Trailer Court

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

"We haven't danced in ages."

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

Ike and Tina Turtle.

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

Newborn bird sees tortoise and starts wearing shell.

Man in a tortoise shell visiting a psychiatrist.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.