Pet Turtle Enthusiast Gifts

"Frankly, Mr. Arnold. I'm sick and tired of hearing about your pet turtle."

Speed Dating for Turtles

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

Turtle Trailer Court

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

"Well, if you didn't do anything in North Korea, then why do they keep launching missiles at us?"

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Leo, did you forget to walk the snail?'

Well, the doctor said you have to wear it until you stop biting your stitches.

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

The Stripper

Ike and Tina Turtle.

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"We haven't danced in ages."

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Face it, we're vegetarians because plants can't toddle away.'

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

Here is our spot, I sink, Helga.

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

'Sorry, he can't come out and play. He's grounded.'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Tortoise polishing his shell

Tortoises breakdancing

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'I'm going to be a little late.'