Turtle Lover Gifts

Look who's religious all of a sudden

'He's never been the same since he came out of his shell.'

Turtle to counselor: 'If you don't mind I won't lay on my back.'

'Looks like Joanie lost another turtle.'

'He's responding well to the injections'.

'Oh Frank, let's not swim here: It looks like a nudist-beach...'

'He was only ninety three.'

"My activity tracker helps me reach my goal of 10 steps per day."

Turtle Eviction

"What did I say about trying to do sit-ups?"

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

'My doctor told me that I need to slow down. But I don't think I can.'

'Body-building is great, unfortunately, now I'm stuck in my shell...'

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

Lovely tan-lines George, lovely!

A turtle is pulling a shell as a camper

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'It was your bright idea to eat out!'

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

Give me a lift and I'll pay in Canadian currency!

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

'Do you have anything that will stop him chasing cars?'

European Turtles

"Yes, he is a bit slow, but he's really careful and I've been assured that I'll have him for a long time."

"I like a speed."

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

"In 275 years, I've seen it all - fish, water, more fish, more water..."

A turtle takes a bath.

"Why would I sign up for a marathon? Well, Coubertin said it best: "the most important thing is not to win, but to take part"..."

A tortoise

"All good Lucy, I've cleared the beach: you can safely go and lay your eggs now..."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall..."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."