Turf Trendsetter Gifts

Al's Garden Supply vs. Joe's Sporting Goods

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Hair Crop Circle

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Merger at 28th and Lex

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Golf Hil Divot

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

'You don't know why you're down here?... Aren't you the guy that invented the high five in sports?'

"Cool bling bro!"

"Come at me, Bro!"

"Vinyl I get. This, I didn't see coming."

Football fan

'He wears his spikes on the inside.'

"Yeah, I don't get the whole bathroom selfie thing, either."

How does she get her grass so green?

'Did you know that our lawn is astroturf? I think our parents must be total psychos.'

"Help!!"

Man with spanner through his nose.

"Our office went from sit-down desks to stand-up desks to becoming the desk."

Gardener laying turf.

'Oh my, THAT'S never happened before!'

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

'Leave it to the French! These shower-caps are made out of wool!?'

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

Fears