Turf Titan Gifts

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Sisyphus during Covid

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Football.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

'Welcome to the rat race.'

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

What are we going to do? Let's get something to eat. Yes!! I like the sound of that idea. Count us in. I'm buying. What's the caveat? Hold it! Stop! I'm putting an end to all this right here!

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

How does she get her grass so green?

'We know. He's just fixing the antenna.'

'It's not the meek who inherit the earth, it's the geeks.'

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

"Great waves to day, dude!"

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

'Big tissue?'

Zuckerberg in Iran

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

It's Where Trump Gets His Strength