Turf Titan Pillows

'It's a privilege. Not everyone is fortunate enough to make my team, but those who do are proud to wear the brand.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

Sisyphus during Covid

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Football.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'I'm trying to get in shape enough so I can wear Spandex in public.'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'It's called bipedalism, Ned, and it's the wave of the future. You better get with it or get left behind.'

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

' ... plus you need to floss better.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

How does she get her grass so green?

"Sharpen my teeth! I'm a linebacker!"

'We know. He's just fixing the antenna.'

"Great waves to day, dude!"

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

'Big tissue?'

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

"Sorry Mr Brooks, but this article is too long. Nobody wants to read more than 140 characters anymore."