Sports Turf Specialist Gifts

Weed -B- Going. Weed -B- Going. Weed -B- Gone.

Football fan

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Swimming Prankster

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

Fade to black...

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

'Oh, look, Billy's found a playmate.'

Dexter Miller developed the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough, but... (golf ball in pain)

"Yeah, my mum made me come outside to play as well."

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

A misery of mole hills

Algebra Research Center: Come In We're Slopin'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

Formula One Therapy

How does she get her grass so green?

"We've been admiring your fathering techniques."

'Yes of course he can borrow my lawn mower just as long as he only uses it in my garden...'

Gardener laying turf.

Golden Village: Lawn Mowing Races

Al's Garden Supply vs. Joe's Sporting Goods

Woman coaxing husband into mowing lawn by dangling a bottle of beer in front of him.

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

'It's all set. Now help me catch my sister.'

Football Pitch Line Markings.

A horse rider uncomfortable in his sadle.

"With the lockdown and the weather getting nicer, Jason's normal terrace envy is soaring sky high."

'Recently retired, Janet Moo-ray not only discovers the grass isn't greener on the other side...it requires a lot of mowing.'

'Listen up! Me and Everyone else will run for our lives. Dewey You stay back and block.'

'What are they?' 'My prize winning divots!'