Tudor Time-traveler Gifts

Summon King Henry's bugle teacher! Bring on the Tudor Tooter Tutor!

William Shakespeare

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Time for vacation, time for work.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I don't know who you are!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'