Tudor History Gifts

Henry VIII

'...he loves me, he love me not, he loves me, he...he...'

Tudor Grammar. Anne Boleyn. Anne Bowlin'.

1588: Queen Elizabeth I returns from her holidays

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

"Technically, it's a mammal."

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

William Shakespeare

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

Thomas Cranmer

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Pisa Hut.

Thor's Other Tools

Alternative collective animal names

Lady Jane Grey

Dante Alighieri

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

"Just remember, you could end up just like me. . . dead and hanging upside down at a gas station. . ."

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

Edmund Spenser

Elizabeth I

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

"It's from Henry VIII, sire. He's going to be in town and wants to know where the best hook-up spots are."

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"We must root out corruption at the highest levels of government and make it look like it's happening at the lowest levels of government."

Summon King Henry's bugle teacher! Bring on the Tudor Tooter Tutor!

Venetian without the knowledge

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

"Whoops! We have pot holes here, too."

Hammer of God

Thomas Wolsey

Henry VIII

"Swipe left." Henry VIII