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Henry VIII

'...he loves me, he love me not, he loves me, he...he...'

1588: Queen Elizabeth I returns from her holidays

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Now you've seen the bust how about letting me see Naples?"

"Technically, it's a mammal."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

William Shakespeare

Thomas Cranmer

"Actually, not all roses are red. Sometimes they're white as well as numerous other colours. Also I think you'll find that violets are sort of purple..."

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

Pisa Hut.

Thor's Other Tools

Lady Jane Grey

Alternative collective animal names

Dante Alighieri

'Anne Boleyn now regrets avoiding that Prenup Chit Chat with King Henry.'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

Edmund Spenser

"Just remember, you could end up just like me. . . dead and hanging upside down at a gas station. . ."

Elizabeth I

Trying to rectify the Leaning Tower of Pisa

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"We must root out corruption at the highest levels of government and make it look like it's happening at the lowest levels of government."

Venetian without the knowledge

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

"Swipe left." Henry VIII

Thomas Wolsey

Henry VIII

"Whoops! We have pot holes here, too."

Hammer of God

Queen Elizabeth I

'The double codpiece and chips is very popular with the Blackpool crowd, your highness.'

Henry VIII

"Oh, I always let Howard stuff the turkey....he was a gynecologist you know!"