Tudor Time-traveler Pillows

William Shakespeare

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I don't know who you are!"

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'