Tropical Retreat Dreamer Gifts

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

'Saddam escapes to tropical isle with $1 billion in loot. Aren't the headlines preposterous? Here's a $500 tip, Miss...'

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Lounging by the pool

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'...I said we've been marooned.'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'These virtual-reality goggles are great! Right now, I'm sun-bathing in Tahiti...'

"I downloaded a new app that puts me on a tropical island no matter where I'm at."

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"I keep telling the boss I'm working from home. I'm gonna have to actually do that one of these days."

'I have nothing to declare... Okay, I liked Maui better.'

'If those coconuts ever ripen, I'm not eating them!'

That's my summer place.

Customized Personal Retreats.

'Why are you still sitting here, dear? This is a tropical getaway. It means, get away!'

'Lookout, here comes another boatload of cartoonists.'

"I predict six more weeks of winter...But I'm sure we'll tough it out."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

'Polly doesn't want a cracker, Polly wants a condo in Florida.'

Snowman dreaming of surfing.

Death takes a holiday.

The Sun Bather

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Eating all of this coconut is making me feel really horny.'

Siesta-time

At this time I'd like to thank the man or woman who invented the parasol. Without it, an indoor rain shower might dilute this Mai Tai, hindering my ability to get my full Don Ho groove on.

Beach

Yep, you get to a certain age and you just want to fly south for the winter.

"I booked a trip to Honolulu for your birthday. I'll let you know when I get there."

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada