Troll Analyst Gifts

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

Lynching on social media

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

The Thought Process.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

Department of Who's Your Daddy?

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

'Think OUTSIDE the box, not ABOUT the box.'

"Look! A brave man using the medium of dance to protest against the fascist coronavirus measures of the government!"

"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t

Gobbledygookologist

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'It's called lateral thinking.'

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

Friendly Troll.

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

'I was not prepared for this!'

"Sorry, I'm the Amazing People Watcher. I'm going all I can."

'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'

'I intend to burn the midnight oil finding ways to cut back on our carbon footprint, Simpkins...'

"The Three Billy Goats Gruff and Fred M. Smith, Chief Fraud Investigator, Department of Transportation, Roads and Bridges... THAT'S who's crossing this bridge."

Last Exit Before Troll

'I know you're doing an important job at the think tank but please stop working at home!'

"Devin agrees with the president. Americans are dreamers too."

'I could kill for a good cup of coffee now.'

Huge traffic jam:Sign reads 'Debate on road pricing, next exit'.

"Someday, Ed, we're going to look back on all this and litigate."

"They discovered I liked a JK Rowling tweet when I was fifteen, you?"