Internet Troll Gifts

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. Tap tap tap tap tap. Whatever, dork-boy. You're no longer the world's first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid. It turns out you had an undetected genetic mutation that led to extreme, continuous belching. I'm afraid you didn't make it. You and I are about to have a lot in common.

"I’ve edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie...You’re no longer the world’s first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid...It turns out you had an undetected genetic mutation that led to extreme, continuous belching....I’m afraid you didn’t make it."

Satan discovers social networking.

"If we want to get people interested in the EU referendum we can't rely upon dropping in a few leaflets through letter boxes..."

"I would try to stop being negative, but I know I'd never manage it."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"These days they prefer to harass me on twitter."

That isn't what prove you're not a robot means, Bob.

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

"This is not good at all!"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

Unsocial Networking.

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

"Whatever the politicians might decide, I'm well prepared because I've got enough hate comments for the next five years!"

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

"I'll be the superhero—you be the guy arguing about him online."

Car traffic.

'Again. . . why are we expelling these two?'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"Every holiday I disable his Internet. It keeps his mind off us."

'I don't think the posts online are for scratching.'

"Wanna join my hangouts circle?"

Hunter shooting @ symbols.

'A friend has added you on FaceBoo.'

Clown receives 'hee hee mail'.

Digital Signalling System

"Look! He slamming us on Yelp! Beat him to the punch and troll him on Twitter!"