Travel Troll Gifts

Visitor information - Go home!

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Unrest Area.

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This is not good at all!"

"A large donation usually calms him down."

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

Car traffic.

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

"Sir! Wait! You forgot your pile of soiled trash on the airplane seat!"

Showing a little leg wasn't getting him anywhere.

'Damned tourists.'

'You can't get there from here!'

People at airport look at information board showing strike action and union membership cancelled.