Travel Troll Gifts

Visitor information - Go home!

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

Unrest Area.

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Woman is surrounding by penguins and can't reach her camera

"This is not good at all!"

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

"A large donation usually calms him down."

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

'No sir, we're not boarding a flight. My teacher just needs to check my homework in my my dog Sam here, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.'

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"I was sick - sick in Hawaii."

"I learned how to pack small. I bought Brad a big suitcase."

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

A magician sees his suitcase with swords in it on the luggage conveyor belt.

Car traffic.

'The only way I had to get your attention was to send you that computer virus.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'

Hubert deeply regretted his wish that his train would arrive on time.

"Sir! Wait! You forgot your pile of soiled trash on the airplane seat!"

Excess Baggage: The airlines will hold your connecting flight just long enough so you can watch it leave without you.

Oh, hey, want me to take that?

Showing a little leg wasn't getting him anywhere.

Maps to the house arrests of the stars

"My mother wants you to make a restroom stop."

'You can't get there from here!'

'Damned tourists.'