Cartoon Analyst Gifts

A dog scratches swastikas off.

"First I let the Evangelicals share my tent. Then I allowed the tea party to come in. Next the Trumpers arrived. Now, there's no room left for me!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Occu-Pie Mars

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Can You Spot the Differences?

Torturing the English Language

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"We only got six days of funding."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Claus 2.0

Trump pardons

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Lactose Intolerant

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

A caveman paints from life

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

Reagacentennial

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.