Cartoon Critics Gifts

"I could've done without all the wisecracky stuff for adults."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'Do I have to fetch the newspaper? -- Bill Kristol always leaves a bad taste in my mouth!'

"Do you have to keep looking down your nose at everyone?"

"It's called Eunuch-corn syndrome. It happens to all males that join the Trump administration. It's something you'll have to learn to live with Attorney General Barr."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Early photobombing

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

"Yes, one is a dog."

Honest Vending

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

'Check out the old dude.'

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Penguin

"I'm heading north but these days it just seems easier to walk."

"I'm sorry about all this. It's my animal magnetism."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

One Painting Says To the Other... 'Do you ever get that creepy feeling like they are watching you.'

Cat has birds on whiskers,

Pea

Downsizing.