Comic Critic Gifts

"I know you insisted on getting off here, but this area is for employees only. Are you sure you know where you're going?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

I'm not a snob in the usual sense. I don't mind if a guy is from the wrong side of the tracks, but I do mind if he's from the wrong side of the gutter. AS you know, the "gutter" is the term for the space between panels in a comic strip. ! !

Newspapers stink. Newspaper comics stink. Nobody reads them. They're old school. I read a new generation of online comics. Check out this one. It's called expletive deleted monkey. @#$% and @#$%? Expletive deleted and the @#$%? Expletive deleted in the raunchy adjective deleted house. It's a family strip. I'm going to wash out my computer with soap.

Perpetual motion car

Unnatural Selection.

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

"Looks like they're going to have a dog fight."

Cancel Culture and Stand-Up Comedy

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Honest Vending

"Amateurs."

A knight sent to kill a dragon armed with a fly swatter

"Get off the stage and get a copy of 'Studies of Laughter in Interaction'—I think you'll enjoy it."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Non Thought For The Day.

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Jim Carrey,

Occupy Budget Balancing

"It's tough to get him moving, but once he's going he never stops."

Polar bears

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"I don't like lawyer jokes. Lawyers don't think they're funny and other people don't think they're jokes."

A skip full of fools.

Hedgehog holding sign saying 'the end is nigh' as man invents the wheel.

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

"It's supposed to be a comedy, so I've had Steve, here, red-flag the funny parts."