Comic Strip Critic Gifts

"Your charisma or your life!"

"If God asked you to, would you kill your baby brother?"

Grace For Flies

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Fish hunting for men.

Iliadette.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"Yes, one is a dog."

"Bless You."

Honest Vending

The prying mantis,

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Amateurs."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."