Comic Strip Analyst Gifts

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

Grace For Flies

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

They're Not Just That Into It

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Fly Football

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

Support group for sheep.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

Fish hunting for men.

Iliadette.

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

The prying mantis,

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"Bless You."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

Exciting potato bugs.

"Amateurs."

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"Do Mr. Reaper, do you have health insurance?"

Happy birthday Dung Beetle